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Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Time:8:32 pm.
This is one of the hardest things i've ever had to do....
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Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

Time:5:21 pm.
Mood: crushed.
I can't take this heartache... I never thought it would be this hard...
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Sunday, April 18th, 2010

Subject:Why don't you just be thankful for the good things....??
Time:3:50 am.
Mood: cranky.

Well, I got woken up at 3:15... Should still be sleeping cuz I have to be up at 5 today and I went to bed at 12:15.  No such luck since I have a brother that's addicted to drugs and "suffers from insomnia".  Whatever.  Should've never moved but at least I'll be out in a couple weeks. 
That's when Derek is leaving me for a month and a half.  I know I will get to see him on the weekends if we don't work opposite schedules, but its hard for me to be away from him.  We've only been apart one day since we met really.  I know its pathetic, but the guy is really my best friend.  Really feels like he's the only one I got most of the the time.  We have been entertaining the idea of moving to Indiana in a few years but who knows. 
I feel sick pretty frequently now, ever since I had my surgery.  Not only do I have these obnoxious allergies, but I have pains in my stomach and really don't feel good after eating at all.  I could eat a green bean and I still feel sick.  I don't know, I guess I just really need to get serious and get myself healthy.   I might cancel my gym membership next month.  I know it seems the opposite of what I should do but since I'll be paying rent and numerous bills for two months by myself practically, I need to save money.   I already have a bike and elliptical I can use at home so I might just do that.  I don't know yet. 
My raise was pretty shitty at work, but I didn't expect much so it's not a surprise.  I really do want to go back to school but I can't help but feeling like it would be pointless and a waste of money.  I just don't want this to be all I will ever amount to.  I hate retail! 
I sold my car.  I miss it already but at least Derek is happy with his Camaro.  I'm back to driving the Explorer for a bit til I can find something to sell it for.   Hopefully I will find something reasonable that will last a long time. 
My aunt might be coming to live up here for the summer.  I wonder how that's gonna go.  Eesh! 
OH YEAH, I bought a fire pit for TEN BUCKS at Target the other day.  I couldn't believe it.   Must've been one from last year or something.  Can't wait to start using that thing.  I'm so excited for summer.  I'm excited for camping, even if I have to do it alone... lol
Time to get up and get ready for work I guess.  Then maybe a movie, if I don't come home and pass out from lack of sleep.  *ANGRY FACE*

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Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Time:1:22 pm.
Mood: ....
... for reassuring me that people never change...
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Monday, July 27th, 2009

Subject:doo dooo dooooo....
Time:3:07 pm.
Mood: sleepy.

Soooo tired... wish I could've slept in today.  My brain does not allow me to do that.

It's my first day off of work in like 9 days.  YES!  

Yesterday my tire decided to go flat so I had to finally pay for that alignment and then 2 front tires on top of that.  It sucks but at least its taken care of now. Later on, I went to see a movie with some friends.  Then acted a wee bit immature on gratiot for a few.  But it was fun. 

I'm falling behind in bills now so I have that to stress about.  I love adult life.

I think its time to go take a nap or something.  Or since its kinda nice, maybe I will go chill outside......

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Friday, July 24th, 2009

Subject:oh em gee
Time:6:46 am.
Mood: exhausted.
Off to work again.  I am way beyond tired and tomorrow is going to kill me!

Life is getting sooo repetitive.  Wish I could just quit and go to school full time.  Or win the lottery.  Yeah right.

I seriously miss being a kid.  Everything was carefree.  And the days lasted forever.  Now time is whipping by.

I am so not happy with myself anymore.  I hate when people make me feel like I'm not good enough.  I need a change.
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Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Subject:I need some distraction....
Time:11:45 pm.
Mood: drained.
I'm having doubts about what I'm doing nowadays..
Hopefully this will go away...
I've never been sure of myself...
I've never held within me a confidence to help me through things..
But I'm hoping that this time, things will be different..

Wish I knew how it all ends up..
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Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Subject:gotta start sometime....
Time:12:43 am.
Mood: blank.
I am seriously bothered by everything. I'm unhappy and it almost feels like I don't really want to be happy anyway. Cause forcing smiles is simpler than finding a real reason to be happy.

I need to figure out how to get back.....
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Friday, September 26th, 2008

Time:7:08 am.
if i only had a way....
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Monday, March 5th, 2007

Time:4:55 pm.
i forgot i had one of these... hmm... ill make it short...

ive been real REAL irritated lately... kinda depressed as well.. i need to find a job and maybe get out of this area... i feel like im wasting away and suffocating ever so slowly... ahhh... i hate it... i need to be happy...
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Friday, January 5th, 2007

Time:7:05 pm.
..... its been awhile.....
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Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

Time:8:05 pm.
So basically here is the deal, i'm not feeling like myself lately... I don't particularly care for hanging out with anyone.. I just can't wait for my class to start on Monday, because that's the only thing I really have to look forward to...
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Tuesday, September 26th, 2006

Time:11:51 am.
Mood: bored.
ok, so.... im kinda bored... i'm supposed to be cleaning out some of the stuff in my bedroom and getting rid of stuff that i don't really need anymore... buttttttttttt, I'm kinda lazy.... i took the puppy to the docs yesterday and they gave him some medication, so hopefully this little condition that he has will go away... on the other hand, Luke goes in for surgery tomorrow... :( .. i hope everything goes okay with that... i hope his leg will fully heal and he will be able to use it again and whatnot... i seriously cannot wait for my class to start... and then i need to take one more class before i can get financial aid again... so that sucks, cuz im broke... i also need to find a job that doesn't suck... one that doesn't stay open late at night cuz i'm not a night person at all... that's why i like randazzo, they were only open til 8... that was nice... but yeah, enough of my babbling... hope i find a job soon tho, cuz i found a really nice car that i'd like to get, but we can't afford it on derek's income alone... :( ....
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Monday, September 18th, 2006

Time:10:32 pm.
luke got hit by a car the other day and broke his hip.. he shattered the socket so they cant just pop his bone into place which would be easier and cost less... so its gonna cost 1500 to fix and he still wont be able to use his leg very much, but it will take the pain away with the surgery at least... my dad dont have the money and neither do i really... so if we cant come up with money fast enough, i think my dad might choose to put him down :( :( :( ... im sooooooo terrified of losing him... hes my little doggy... ugh... i hope we can come up with the money or his little leg would just heal itself, that'd be nice... right now, im just praying for a miracle either way...
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Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Time:11:36 pm.
its starting to make sense to me exactly who and what is really that important to me.. why should i even waste my time?
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Wednesday, September 13th, 2006

Time:8:47 am.
I'm kinda bored so I figured I'd just update this for a minute.

I keep thinking about moving.. Just packing up and getting the hell outta here... but I can't do that YET, although i want to.. maybe soon...

My class don't start til next month, and I still have to worry about getting my books for that.. I got an excessively large phone bill this month... its bullshit...like 75 bucks over what we normally pay for that... and I have to get my puppy into the vet as soon as possible because he is very sick... :(

It's all too much to worry about...

other than that, derek and i are trying to save up money to get a new car/suv.... so im excited for that... we will see...
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Monday, July 10th, 2006

Subject:la deeeeeeee dah
Time:9:38 am.
Mood: oooooooooooh yeah.
tonight, after work, sara ken derek and i are going camping... til wednesday.... so peace out....
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Monday, June 5th, 2006

Time:12:42 pm.
Mood: i hate work, like always....
ok so basically i have been working my ass off, i no longer have 2 days off, im back to only one day off (tuesday) but i only close 4 out of 6 days, so thats alright.. im gonna try to get another day off soon... so that im only working 5... ummm... i cut off a chunk of skin on the slicer wednesday at work... i had to be rushed to the clinic and stuff.. i didnt get stitches cuz they couldnt reattach that piece of skin, so now theres a chunk of skin missing and the doc says its gonna take a long while to heal... so this sucks... i keep hitting it on stuff and it breaks open and bleeds, so i really need to watch what im doing or its never gonna heal... anyway, im starting to save up money and im hoping to move out very soon... derek has a job interview tomorrow night for a job that might start him out at like 15 or something.. i dunno, we will see... but yeah.. thats tomorrow... and then i have joels graduation tomorrow night... so yeah... im gonna get ready for work and stop typing, cuz my finger is killing me...
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Saturday, May 20th, 2006

Time:10:14 am.
Mood: die mcdonalds die... haha.
so basically, the previous journal entry is incorrect in me saying that i have wednesdays and only wednesdays off... i do in fact NOT have wednesdays off anymore, but rather tuesdays AND thursdays... which will work out great in the fall for school... so anyway, that is all... they have been letting me get out early the last two days... so i think i should try staying til close for a few days at least so that i dont make them think that i am trying to, i dunno, leave...? pff... the days are soooooooooooooooooooo slow there... but hey, its money... alright,i have to go get ready... latttttttttterrrrrrrr

p.s. mcdonalds breakfast is now officially the WORST tasting thing EVER...

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Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

Time:4:16 pm.
Mood: content.
got a new job... 8 bucks an hour... 6 days a week... i requested that i only work 5 days though, so we will see what happens... i know i have wednesdays off for sure tho... im hoping i can get the 30th off... its a tuesday... going to see the Tigers for crystals birthday.. if i dont get tuesdays off as well as wednesdays, i will have to trade with someone... that will suck... but hopefully it wont be a problem... im hoping i get a new car by winter... and i hope i can find a place to live by fall... we will see what happens... other than that, nothing really new to report... just chilling, bored on my day off... my b/f has to work both his jobs today so i cant chill with him... crystals working, cant chill with her... ugh, everyone is busy... except brit.. she dont work tonight.. maybe i will bug her... i dunno.. but im outta here... peeeeeeeeeeeace
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LiveJournal for *{iTz NoT LiKe YoU cArE}*.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.